It has already begun. I got 3-5 phone calls (I only got 3 voicemails) from Loris last night. I did not recognize any of the numbers. He was drunk and trying to invite himself and his friend over. He left his first voicemail at 11:30p and apologized for calling late and sort of said he wanted to drop by my apartment whether I asked him to or not. Later, at about 1a he called again, and again apologized for calling so late. This is not strange, it has just been a while since I had encountered the behavior. I was on the phone with Robyn the whole time and she understood.
Speaking of her, she has opted not to go to Austin. It is for the same reason I had to miss it, lack of funds. Jill said she understood. She seems ok with it but I am sure she is sad she has to miss it.
We had lunch today at Bueno. It was good she had purchased the latest copy of Vogue knitting. While eating she selected several rather ambitious projects. I may get a hat. A nice cable knit hat. I think blue would be nice. She is going to make a scarf for her mother and she wants one for herself. It is possibly the most complicated scarf ever made. I wish her the best of luck.
Richard went out of town this week so the office is rather pathetic. Terry is drinking beer, Haydee left early as did Candy and Kelley. Anella actually seems to be working. From what I understand Konner will be here all day tomorrow. I miss Becky, she is going to have so much to do tomorrow or the next day, I am not sure when she gets back. With Richard out of town I am sure she is going to be swamped. There is really nothing I can do to help her. I am sure Candy can keep things together but I find it hard to believe that she will be doing more than the bare minimum.
I read that scientists in England have grown the first human liver from stem cells. It is very small but a huge step. They are estimating that they will be able to transplant one in ten years. They can use the small ones of the moment to test drugs which will be superior in that it will be on human organs but not have to put humans themselves at risk. It seems very exciting. I am thinking of taking up smoking as soon as they are able to grow a transplantable lung.
I also read in the news that they are going to fix the Hubble again. I think it is great. So many people think it is a waste, we spend just as much for soldgiers to have ice cream in Iraq. I would rather know the secrets of the universe. Friggin' Haliburton.
Passions was ok yesterday. Fancy has figured out Phyllis' killer. I assume she will be kidnapped/imprisoned/incapacitated before she is able to reveal their identity which the audience already knows is Spike. Kay is sad that Miguel is mad at her about the secret keeping. Luis and Sheridan are fighting. I am hoping today will be better.
The only other piece of news I have for today is that I took a "panic quiz" issued by the US government in 1953 in the back of Collier's magazine. It was designed to gauge how well you would react to surviving a full scale Soviet nuclear attack. 70 was good, 80 was above average and 90 was panic proof. I scored a 100.8. I am pretty surprised.

The skate party. Before the block party. The block party. The alcohol poisoning. What a weekend.
Robyn's skating party was great fun. I saw neither Paul nor John but I did get to see everyone else who were very nice. The awkwardness that I had feared was a non issue. Most everyone came in costume (including the children). The parents of the kids at the skatateria were a little wary of us but it all worked out. I did have to leave early so go back to work but it all worked out.
Saturday was nuts. Crazy even with perhaps a touch of insanity. The booze, and the booze. Adrian came over around 2ish. We proceeded to drink, and drink and drink. We finished the last half of the 1.75L vodka and then went to the store and got another. Which we put a pretty good dent in. Then we ran down to Crossroads and Shades of Grey after which we popped into JR's. We made some new friends and I drunk and dialed from what I hear. I do not really remember leaving but at some point we were home again and I broke the hanging rod in my closet, after which I took a nice nap. I am thinking this was around 8:30 or so. I woke a little after 11 and Brigitte and Lori were on their way. Adrian left as the two of them were walking to the house. I was still drunk. I kept on and eventually the 3 of us made our way to the party. Earlier in the day Marlena had scratched the fuck out of my forehead. I am a little worried it might scar. It was fresh and made for a nice Halloween costume in addition to my Former Miss Boise button. We ended up meeting the Loris at JR's.
Loris, his friend Maki (?), Cheri and her friend Jason were all at the bar. Cheri's hair has grown back nicely. They were all very friendly and glad to see us. Brigitte and Lori began throwing beads at the crowd, in particulair at a guy dressed as Jesus. Loris was throwing limes as some guy. At around 1:15a, before the time change we made our way to Zipperz. We had a few drinks I ended up dancing with some tranny to Dolly Parton and we had a pretty good time. When 2 am rolled around the second time all five of us piled into Maki's car and pulled out of the parking lot. That is when Loris's spotted another tranny who was a dead ringer for Patsy. He made Maki pull over so he could take her picture. She agreed but then got into the car and insisted we give her a ride home. Loris had to lay across the three of us in the back seat with his feet hanging out of the window of the VW. Of course Brigitte began to lick his ear, I stated to tickle him and Lori would not quit screwing with his feet. We continued this way until we reached the tranny's home.
Soon after getting home and some hanging out Maki went home, Brigitte and Lori passed out and Loris and I followed suit. I tool Loris home the next day. I am pretty sure that Monday night I am still feeling the alcohol. I have bruises all over and there is something wrong with my hand. I am sure I will heal.
Sunday I went and moved some stuff for Emily after which she took me to Taco Diner. It was awesome.
I slept about 10 hours last night and I am exhausted. It is only eight.
I ate at Potbelly and it was good. The broccoli cheddar soup was pretty good and I really like my sandwich, even if it was a little overpriced.

What do you with a problem like Michael Loris?
I suppose I cannot really call him a problem. The other day I opened the Loris' box. I did this with an email. One that I wrote back in March that was a silly thing that I wrote on a whim. At the time I did not have his email address so it has remained in my draft folder all this time. Well I was cleaning out my email and came across it. At Robyn's recomendation I sent it to him. He sent me a cordial and friendly email in response telling me he was looking forward to seeing me at Robyn's party, which happens to be tonight. I would have never sent it to him if Robyn had not told me of the situation between Loris and John. After a rather spirted "impression" of John which later worked his way back to him they have again parted ways (if all goes according to tradition this will last six months to a year). I suppose this development emboldened me into contact.
I got an email from him today.
Basicly asking what time I will be at the party, what sort of cake I made, etc. The intesting part, and entertaining, was the overall sense of nervousness conveyed by the email. In particular when he said " I hope she does not lock us all in a small room and make us talk". I am not sure if this comes from general nervousness or if Robyn made some sort of comment. All the same I am glad I am not the only one who is a little nervous about it all. I am going to see two ex's and a whole group that I have not seen since the dissolution shall I say. It should prove to be an event. But as Loris said in his email to me today, we shall all be cordial for it is our friend Robyn's birthday.
With Loris one never knows just what sort of form he will be in until you actually see him. In conversation I relayed to Tawil how I was nervous about opening Loris' Box, he reminded me that one never really closes it.
In other news, Passions was very exciting. Kay has seemingly spilled the beans about Ivy's ploy with David to get rid of Grace. This has happened without any real warning which leads me to think it might be a dream, but so far it seems pretty real. Sam has ordered her out of the house and Fox is standing by Kay. The plot thickens.
The job hunt is not moving along, but I will keep trying.
I had really hoped to have a date for the party tonight but, alas, no such luck. I do have on my new Seven jeans and a new grey sweater. So while I may bereft of a date, I like my outfit. I went by supercuts for a cleanup so the grooming is fine. 'Sigh'
I look at my problems and they seem rather small compared to Chris'. His living situation is really sliding down hill. He is hoping for a job, and I reminded him that his moving forward is entirely up to him (thanks Mom). He wants to make enough to send me to the appraiser with the rugs so he can get the hell out of there. He has recently begun entertaining the idea fo moving to Santa Fe. I hope he makes it happen.

I voted today. It was not an easy thing. I had to make a choice, vote for Chris Bell or vote for Perry by proxy. I wanted to vote for Kinky, I really did. But he has no real chance and that would be one less vote against Perry. It hurt a little. But what is done is done, I hope the idiot loses.
After voting I went for a walk at the park of the north. I always enjoy that. I got my coffee and made a lap. Did not see anything to noteworthy, I was tempted to go in a couple of places but was short on time. I had a nice time all the same.
I had the strangest dream last night, I was on a soap opera themed cruise. Every once in a while some hired actors working for the cruise line would break out into some soap style drama. It was awesome. I had been on the boat for some time and we docked to get some time on the beach. As all the guests were tanning on the shore a man was lowered down from a helicopter in a UN jacket with a bull horn. He told us that the UN had a new helicopter that would be used to rescue aircraft crash victims. They were going to be beta testing it on our tour group. Right after that a massive, fantasticaly sized helicopter airplane thing came over the horizon. It started sending out these huge tentacle things and picking people up off the beach. When I was taken I got on board and was instantly taken to my old elementary school. It was different, it was on the beach and there was this swimming pool, I got in. Sami from Days of our Lives was in the pool with me and I started telling her what was wrong with her life. I yelled at her for a long time. Just when she said she would change her ways and fix her life a huge asteroid slammed into the ground about 20 feet away and there was a huge boom. Then I woke up.
No responses from potential employers so far today. I sent out another resume last night to a posting on Craig's List. I am not holding my breath. I am trying to keep a positive attitude. I talked to Mom this morning and she said that this is a numbers game. I am trying to stay positive, did I say that already? 'Sigh'
I sure am glad I went to Zimbabwe when I did, Mugave has really screwed that place up. I was listening to The World on the way to work and they were saying that he has destroyed the economy so badly that they will stop offering anti-retro-virals to new AIDS and HIV patients. The number of infected grows drastically every week and the free clinics there can only help about 40,000 of the half a million infected. It really makes me sick. I still think everyone should take a lesson from Brazil.
I am going to be kind of broke this month. I put in my paychecks today and I will be able to pay rent and live but not much else. Maybe this will be how I lose weight.
I am having lunch with Mom tomorrow. That always makes me feel better.

My First Blog. How exciting. I have been meaning to start this for over a year. I have really been meaning to start this for about 8 months. So here it is. I am assuming that this gets easier the more you do it, but I will make an effort this time.
I have chosen to title my blog "The Waltz" as in the waltz of life. The title is inspired by the sequences of 2001: A Space Odyssey. The silent, graceful moves of the space scenes devoid of sound except the beautiful waltzes. I often wish my life were more like that. My ipod has helped me accomplish that goal to some degree.
I picked up knitting again last night. I started about a year ago and lost interest. Started with too difficult a project so I am starting off more simply this time. So far so good. It is going to perhaps be a dog bed. It sounds harder than it is. It is simple pattern and if I get bored I can turn it into something else.
Robyn, one of my inspirations for beginning this project (is this really a project?) and my poo confidant, is having a birthday party this Friday. A Xanadu themed skate party. I am making the birthday cake, chocolate. I am rather nervous about attending. I will have two ex-boyfriends there. Lying bastard asshole and Paul. I have not seen John since I moved out and I have not seen Paul since the Howard Deen rally in 2004. Unfortunately I have been unable to find a fabulously perfect date which was my original plan for dealing with the stituation. So I guess I will just have to look amazing. I think my outfit will consist of my Seven jeans and my new perfect yellow shirt. 'Sigh' I really should put more work into dating.
I had communication this week with an old friend, John from Kinko's. I was glad to talk to him. It has been at least a year and he seemed glad to hear from me. He was in Santa Fe with his boyfriend, when he gets back we are going to meet for lunch and catch up.
Passions was mildly exciting yesterday. Phyllis the maid was murdered, presumably by Sheridan's husband Chris. This will most likely not be proven. Phyllis has been on the show for years and I am surprised by her demise. The return of evil Julian is the only other activity worth mentioning.
I really need to start exercising. I want to get my bike fixed and start riding again. It has been too long. I was getting good about my yoga but got out of the habit. It would not be hard to get back in it. I also want to start running again. I saw something on my health insurance website about gym discounts. I really should look into that. It might be a nice place to meet someone or get a date, or maybe make myself attractive enough to get asked out. 'Sigh'. I really have no excuse for not trying. I have time and I am able.
It is strange being single. This is the longest I have ever been single since coming out. It has been about five months now. Rusty was sort of fun but I liked the idea of him more than I really liked him I think. He never called and he can kiss my ass. I really should not judge so hard seeing as I cannot find a date. I could try harder, but dammit, as I always say "I'm the prize". I should not have to try harder. But then again I am not as young as I used to be. I suppose that is why I need to start working out. Why are fags so judgmental? I guess I should know since I am just as guilty. Of course I have narrowed my options drastically when I decided no more fatties, losers or drug additcs. I have been thinking about laying off the geeks too. I may need to balance this out by dropping my German car only rule. Although that has never been so much a rule as an unintended pattern.
I love the new Thom York album. So far my favorite tracks are 1, 6,7 and 8. Mostly 1 and 6. "Peel all your layers off, I want to eat your artichoke heart". Brilliant. Screw the critics. "The more you try to erase me the more that I appear".
I have been getting cravings for cigarettes lately. They are worse than they have been for months. I am not sure why they have just started like they have. I have been able to resist so far. I should note however that I have been a non-smoker for over 8 months now. I am proud of myself.
tomorrow I intend to go and vote early. I am going to vote for Kinky. I don't like Bell, Strayhorn is retarded and of course Perry is a douchebag. I am voting Democrat for everything else. I am approving all but one bond issue for the city despite my mixed feelings out the Great South Trinity River Forest Project. Despite the possibly invasive construction it does let the city acquire and protect the land.
North Korea is creepy and the Republicans are idiots.

Huh, that was not too hard.